Band Baajat Baarat: A Bachelor's perspective
There's a thing in our country, which is quite popular nowadays. Its the wedding. Since beginning to the modern society, it has been like this: Daughter completes graduation, find a suitable groom for her! Son gets his first paycheck, start looking for a bride! Don't agree with me? Fine, here's an exercise. Every Sunday you get a matrimonial section along with your regular copy of the newspaper. Just go through it, you'll see. For eg, a typical ad goes like this:-
For those of you who think that I'm getting too cynical about marriages and are looking for a reason to post comments about me being a misogamist, let me tell you, that ain't the way this is. I think marriages are great. Its a great way to bond two families forever in a bond of love & prosperity. I've been in three marriages in the past year and it was a real nice experience. Marriages are a great place to meet new people, bond with old relatives, reminisce old memories & create new ones. They are a joyous event.
But technically, marriage, is just the part where the bride & the groom take their vows & then all the pheres take place. Its all fun, plus if you happen to be in my family, you'll have a blast during this ceremony. We believe in saving our best jokes for this moment, when the bride & groom are really vulnerable *wicked evil grin*
Its the part leading upto it, all the dancing, the eating, the drinking, and the dancing again that's got me a bit perplexed with my emotions. Confused? I'll explain how.
First of all, the Bands. I mean, c'mon! Its a modern world out there. We've got tons of musical instruments, can't we modernize the Baarat? For starters, the generator is an essential part, we can't lose it. But we can lose those trumpet thingies. Have you ever noticed an Indian Baarat clearly?
There are four kinds of people:
1. The ones who constantly keep dancing to the tunes of the band.
2. The ones who lead the baarat and occasionally break into a dance by grabbing the closest known person in proximity on the beats of the dhol.
3. The smiling baaratis, who just walk behind the dancers and secretly hope that no one will grab and pull them into the dancing circle.
4. The innocent onlookers, who are not the part of the baarat, but are affected by it, either by the traffic jam or the mere craving to dance.
I belong to the 3rd category, though no matter how hard I try I always get pulled into the dancing circles. I don't hate dancing, I just want the baarat to move quickly forward. Plus the last time I was in the baarat, a firecracker came and hit me in the head, as a punishment for not dancing, i guess.
All this dancing, though is good, as the people are all happy and they wanna express their joy, is a necessary delay. I mean, there's the groom, upon a mare, and all these people are dancing in front of him. It takes forever for them to move from Point A to Point B. Its a real point of concern for the groom, as he is the glue holding together this snooze fest, but what if his legs get numb from a lack of movement? That's a serious concern! If I were the groom in such a situation, what am I to do? What can be done when I'm to be greeted at the gate of the reception hall by my to-be in-laws? Here I am in front of them, walking funny, and then suddenly, I lose balance & fall down. What a great impression in front of my in-laws!
Getting back to the modernization of the baarat, i'm assuming the people will still dance no matter what. SO instead of those trumpet thingies, employ the beautiful guitar riffs from a Les Paul. It'll work well, plus it'll be a good thing to watch as well!
The next thing that worries me, is the pre-wedding cocktail parties. I basically love them, its where I can drink freely in front of my relatives (kidding). The only thing I dislike is that no matter how hard you try, there's always one relative who'll end up gettting drunk too much (especially in us punjabis, no party is complete without rum & chicken) and will tend to be over-enthusiastic, thus spoiling the event for most of the relatives.
But, for a bachelor, like me, a young man who's just about to turn 22, recently graduated & selected in a top MNC, weddings are just a place where each & everyone of your elder relatives, preferably the ones who've seen you after a pretty long time like 7 to 8 years (who had last seen you as a sweet little kid & had the same mental image even though a long time has passed), will ask you the same question, "Kitna bada hogya!" & I'm forced to think that is it my fault that I hit puberty? Then, after a while, another statement will pop up "You're up next young man!" I know that I'm next but that's still atleast 4 to 5 years away. Why does everyone have to target the next most eligible bachelor in the weddings & start interrogating him about the girls in his life?!
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"I saw a pic of yours on facebook with that cute girl. Is she a punjabi?"
"Do you prefer love marriage or arrange marriage?"
These are some of the questions I've faced in the past year. Is this what I got dressed for & came to the wedding? This is why I wish there would be alcohol in weddings as well, coz after a few drinks, these questions don't even bother me! They ask me "Do you have a girlfriend?" I say "I have shortlisted 5 for marriage purposes, mom & dad will do the screening test and let you know."
I don't know how to end this post, it seems like i'm ranting about how I hate attending marriages. But I do not hate them. I just find some stuff weird, that's it. So don't fling this post around & shove it in my face when my wedding invitation comes at your doorstep, okay? Thanx.
For those of you who think that I'm getting too cynical about marriages and are looking for a reason to post comments about me being a misogamist, let me tell you, that ain't the way this is. I think marriages are great. Its a great way to bond two families forever in a bond of love & prosperity. I've been in three marriages in the past year and it was a real nice experience. Marriages are a great place to meet new people, bond with old relatives, reminisce old memories & create new ones. They are a joyous event.
But technically, marriage, is just the part where the bride & the groom take their vows & then all the pheres take place. Its all fun, plus if you happen to be in my family, you'll have a blast during this ceremony. We believe in saving our best jokes for this moment, when the bride & groom are really vulnerable *wicked evil grin*
Its the part leading upto it, all the dancing, the eating, the drinking, and the dancing again that's got me a bit perplexed with my emotions. Confused? I'll explain how.
First of all, the Bands. I mean, c'mon! Its a modern world out there. We've got tons of musical instruments, can't we modernize the Baarat? For starters, the generator is an essential part, we can't lose it. But we can lose those trumpet thingies. Have you ever noticed an Indian Baarat clearly?
There are four kinds of people:
1. The ones who constantly keep dancing to the tunes of the band.
2. The ones who lead the baarat and occasionally break into a dance by grabbing the closest known person in proximity on the beats of the dhol.
3. The smiling baaratis, who just walk behind the dancers and secretly hope that no one will grab and pull them into the dancing circle.
4. The innocent onlookers, who are not the part of the baarat, but are affected by it, either by the traffic jam or the mere craving to dance.
I belong to the 3rd category, though no matter how hard I try I always get pulled into the dancing circles. I don't hate dancing, I just want the baarat to move quickly forward. Plus the last time I was in the baarat, a firecracker came and hit me in the head, as a punishment for not dancing, i guess.
All this dancing, though is good, as the people are all happy and they wanna express their joy, is a necessary delay. I mean, there's the groom, upon a mare, and all these people are dancing in front of him. It takes forever for them to move from Point A to Point B. Its a real point of concern for the groom, as he is the glue holding together this snooze fest, but what if his legs get numb from a lack of movement? That's a serious concern! If I were the groom in such a situation, what am I to do? What can be done when I'm to be greeted at the gate of the reception hall by my to-be in-laws? Here I am in front of them, walking funny, and then suddenly, I lose balance & fall down. What a great impression in front of my in-laws!
Getting back to the modernization of the baarat, i'm assuming the people will still dance no matter what. SO instead of those trumpet thingies, employ the beautiful guitar riffs from a Les Paul. It'll work well, plus it'll be a good thing to watch as well!
The next thing that worries me, is the pre-wedding cocktail parties. I basically love them, its where I can drink freely in front of my relatives (kidding). The only thing I dislike is that no matter how hard you try, there's always one relative who'll end up gettting drunk too much (especially in us punjabis, no party is complete without rum & chicken) and will tend to be over-enthusiastic, thus spoiling the event for most of the relatives.
But, for a bachelor, like me, a young man who's just about to turn 22, recently graduated & selected in a top MNC, weddings are just a place where each & everyone of your elder relatives, preferably the ones who've seen you after a pretty long time like 7 to 8 years (who had last seen you as a sweet little kid & had the same mental image even though a long time has passed), will ask you the same question, "Kitna bada hogya!" & I'm forced to think that is it my fault that I hit puberty? Then, after a while, another statement will pop up "You're up next young man!" I know that I'm next but that's still atleast 4 to 5 years away. Why does everyone have to target the next most eligible bachelor in the weddings & start interrogating him about the girls in his life?!
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"I saw a pic of yours on facebook with that cute girl. Is she a punjabi?"
"Do you prefer love marriage or arrange marriage?"
These are some of the questions I've faced in the past year. Is this what I got dressed for & came to the wedding? This is why I wish there would be alcohol in weddings as well, coz after a few drinks, these questions don't even bother me! They ask me "Do you have a girlfriend?" I say "I have shortlisted 5 for marriage purposes, mom & dad will do the screening test and let you know."
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